Before that I fought, as a child I mean. Rebelled against any kind of abuse, but once your twin brother rapes you something just breaks and so I followed. Found a way to act like a white cis het man, no thinking, few words and bottling it all up. Those cunts thought they needed to raise me to be a good man, but I just needed a bestie, a clique of other broken goddesses. Rarely find those here anymore, all want to be fuckable, likable, passing or some joke of a femme-fatale. Playing the games they saw on tv, but on the street that shit wasnt working no more. Words dont help if youre a junkie-slave. You gotta do, what you gotta do. Nine semesters of law, almost made it. Gave too much for work and rats. In the end I lost my voice and got dragged into some party-cadres-war, supported by patriarchy and the lust for power. Survived the brainwashing, but ended up with someone worse. She was no less lost than my sorry ass, but her arrogance lead to rage and rage lead to all kinds of violence. The full rainbow of abuse and that was the end for me, at least for about a year until I stood back up.